Fishing With Juan - Freshwater Fishing

Freshwater Fishing

The call of The Great Gilled One has beckoned me to exotic locales from pole to pole, port to port, and all seven of the seas. Perhaps the most enjoyable experiences have been my travels within the borders of my country of birth, The U.S.A.

Catching giant (sometimes man-eating) fish on rough seas, in exotic lands, and amongst foreigners almost completely devoid of manners and hygiene may seem more exciting to the neophyte fisherperson. Of course, landing a record marlin or trophy halibut is exciting. But anyone who believes that there is any less a thrill in netting a small mouth bass, or a great pike, or a ferocious (for its size) catfish, has obviously never come close to the championship level of fishing that I have obtained.

The freshwater of this burg I call America is full of exciting and difficult to catch monsters. Any dumb Mexican can catch a shark, but I'd like to see that same senñor land a 45 pound pike using only Bic lighter and piece of yarn. I think Texas will fall again before that scenario plays out. Please enjoy these pictures of me with some of my greatest catches from the freshwater ponds, rivers, and lakes of the United States.

	The Large Mouth Bass is America's favorite competition fish. This particular Bass was caught with a lure made from peacock feathers and yellow gummy bear.		Believe it or not, some parts of the heartland are completly devoid of discos and Oprah Book Clubs. The ladies who would normally spend their free time at these events end up attending professional fishing competitions. Eventually they all gravitate to the Champion Fisherman.
	After Francis Daughtry pulled out of this competition with a serious hamstring pull, I took over his spot and landed this glorious Pike. The prize money paid for a new Evinrude outboard for Francis' boat.		This Pike is very impressive, but what's more impressive is that I caught it with my bare hands in two feet of water. Using a trick I learned from Justice League of America member, Aquaman, I willed the fish into my grasp.
	This large Salmon was wanted for a string of gas station armed robberies. Dubbed "The Gilled Bandit", this bad boy not only fed a group of ten, but came with a $500 reward from the Spokane Chamber of Commerce.		I caught this Steelhead while fishing on one of America's "Blue Highways". I released it because I had run out of flour and tartar sauce. Tip for aspiring fisherman: Always bring extra tartar sauce.
	The rivers of America are literally choking with fish. This fishing trip was purely enviormental. Catching these two "Alpha Fish" actually made the rivers of Alabama more navigable for boats and other species of fish.		Contrary to popular belief, there is freshwater in California. I spent this day in a laid-back California state of mind, and ended up catching some nice fish anyway. The young lady in the picture won a local radio contest to go fishing with me.
	A Giant catfish that I landed in Arkansas. Landing this fish landed me in the hospital with a 7-hour hernia operation.		A nice bass that landed me a big-time endorsement deal with Basso© Reels. The deal fell through after the incident.
	A record catfish named Ole Stumpo because of his penchant for biting the legs off of swimming children		This month's flavor tries to size up my immense haul. Proof that freshwater fishing is just as much a turn on to the ladies as saltwater.
	Sometimes during a freshwater fishing trip, I'll tie off the boat and go kill something on land. This horrible "Beast of the Fields" made for good pike chum.		The most relaxing method of freshwater fishing may be ice-fishing. Days are full of card playing and steaming urinations while waiting for the bell to ring.
	Fishing up on Lake Saranac was a right of childhood for me. The wide expanse of the lake almost made it seem like Daddy wasn't drinking anymore.		Coming back with a good amount of eating fish. These will taste good with some pepper.
	Trying to feed the entire town of Graimurk, Alabama was an undertaking that I was not prepared for. Two solid weeks of nothing but sun and fishing left me sunburned and emaciated.		This is one of my less monumental fishing trips. Notice the sweater.
	Sometimes, you just have to show the fish who's boss.

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